Tsunamis and Waterfalls
Well, here we are three months in to the new year. So far, I'm not disappointed, but I definitely didn't expect alot of the events and challenges that we're facing already. I knew that as we neared the anniversaries of our lossses it would get difficult. This year I jumped straight out of 2018 and stepped into whatever might come in 2019 with the mindset of Victory. Last year we learned so much about God's love for us and His strength in our weakness, but this year its about the battles won.
They say that life is a highway, well, grief is a journey, an arduous uphill climb. There are remarkable vistas along the mountain path, but there are obstacles and rockslides and difficulties nobody warned me of. Who knew a tsunami could reach me on this mountain and knock me over again?
I've learned more about what faith looks like. Grief and loss has a way of doing that, of stripping down all of our pretences and masks and making us stare in the face of what we truly believe. It's tested. Do I really believe that God is good all the time? Do I really trust that His plan is perfect?
We are not forsaken. We are not lost or forgotten, but we are still awfully sore. There are days that I could scream just like it happened right now all over again and then there are days that I feel a wistful delicious memory of our times together. There is no way to ignore this pain and think that it will just go away on its own. I grieve because I love. However, in the attending to my grief I learn more about love. It's deep and wide and all encompassing and if I let Him, God refreshes me along the way.
They say that life is a highway, well, grief is a journey, an arduous uphill climb. There are remarkable vistas along the mountain path, but there are obstacles and rockslides and difficulties nobody warned me of. Who knew a tsunami could reach me on this mountain and knock me over again?
I've learned more about what faith looks like. Grief and loss has a way of doing that, of stripping down all of our pretences and masks and making us stare in the face of what we truly believe. It's tested. Do I really believe that God is good all the time? Do I really trust that His plan is perfect?
We are not forsaken. We are not lost or forgotten, but we are still awfully sore. There are days that I could scream just like it happened right now all over again and then there are days that I feel a wistful delicious memory of our times together. There is no way to ignore this pain and think that it will just go away on its own. I grieve because I love. However, in the attending to my grief I learn more about love. It's deep and wide and all encompassing and if I let Him, God refreshes me along the way.
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