Timing is Everything

Its been one month today since we lost Alex, and today is his memorial at Fort Bragg. It still seems unreal and hurts beyond words, but its getting better. I didn't get to know him enough and I hadn't know him for long, but he started calling me mom as soon as he married my daughter. My crazy wild daughter. He held her hand in the hospital when she was sick and hurting and he would text me to come up and see her because he knew she needed her momma and daddy, too. He loved her and she loved him and our family will never be quite the same because of him.

 Since January, its just been a one-two-three punch to the stomach of unexpected loss after loss after loss. Today I have a better standing on where I'm at in the process, still no understanding of why God lets these things happen, but I'm not really expecting to ever have that.

What I know in my "knower" as Papa would say is that God's timing is perfect. I have to remember that every day. These things are not surprises to Him, and though honestly sometimes that makes me really angry because He didn't prevent it, or tell me beforehand so I could be better prepared, there still is comfort in that. When I feel lost and afraid and sad and all of the vast array of emotions I've been phasing through, I can rest in Him and that just as surely as He is with me in the good things, He's right there in the bad.


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