For all my hard work and faith and striving, I get weary. The daily chaos of raising children, supporting my man, being a good wife and mommy and pastor's wife and Christian. Trying to eat healthy and workout and failing miserably because I want to starve my fears but end up feeding them instead. Counseling appointments and doctor's appointments and managing homework schedules. These things bear down like a weight. They become burdensome and heavy. Out of all the things I do, what will stand in the fire? What remains? When its all sorted out what is really important?
And then as I'm wading through my day to day, the unthinkable happens. My washing machine dies. Its happened before and we were able to resurrect it, but this time we see no hope. I feel weak that this is the thing that breaks me. When I stack up my haves to the rest of the world's have-nots, I feel lacking that a broken appliance can push me over the edge. Its a good thing that I'm not a crier, because this could really make me lose it.
At times like this, I start looking at what I'm carrying around. Baggage restrictions make us look more closely at what we really need to bring along on this journey. What have I been hanging on to that needs to be left behind? What have I been doing with the tough times I'm going through? Have I ignored the hurt and just piled it up instead of dealing with it and letting it go? There are those things we push for and make happen that really aren't worth the effort in the long run. And there are those little injustices that we push under the rug, don't handle and allow ourselves to heal from, and pretty soon we're carrying a load of mess around with us. Between useless efforts and mishandled hurts, the heaviness is unbearable after awhile.
But He says that we should cast our cares upon Him.
He says that His yoke is easy and His burden is light.
Why don't I believe Him? Why don't I take Him up on His offer to lay it all at His feet?
In all my wondering and wandering, the truth is found in Him. The answer is always found there. with my prayers, with my praise, when I can rise above these mundane obstacles to see what really matters. Not the potential mounds of unwashed laundry, or the cranky kids, but the hope that these things while seeming endless and overbearing, they are but momentary.
2 Corinthians 4:17-18 For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.