Its inevitable, this growing up and leaving mommy thing. This is what its all been about. The potty training, the lessons in manners, the regular trips to the dentist. Every guitar lesson, homework session, late night talk. Just like my response to the pregnancy test that revealed their imminent arrival, I find myself protesting, "I'm not ready!" They each came in and totally overturned my life and with their departure its no different.
We accumulated these children slowly. Every two to three years adding to the collection of little people we could shape and mold and enjoy life with. The collection is complete and now I'm having to face giving it away and sharing it. I'm not ready for the release of two of my beloveds back into nature. One to the wilds of Los Angeles and the rigors of film making and the other to married life and all that is entailed therein. It seems like only yesterday I was holding hands with their daddy looking down over the edge of the cliff we were about to jump off together and here we stand watching them.
There is no manual for this. No "What to Expect When They Actually Grow Up and Move Away." What do I do? How should I feel? Is it ok to get used to them not being in my everyday life anymore? Life is so much more complicated than I thought it would be, but I rest on the truth that daddy and I gave them a great foundation. We have given our lives for them to build on top of. We taught them to love Jesus and each other and others. What more is there?