Our church issues challenges every month. In addition to that, this year we are positioning ourselves to find ways to serve others. I love pushing myself to rise to these challenges and become a better servant. The thing I'm noticing in myself is that I enjoy serving others. Yay me! But I like doing the service under my own terms. Gasp...
Maybe I'm the only one. I'm facing situations in which I'm staring dead in the face of my nasty heart with good intentions. Yuck! I set my servant's heart to help my husband out every week by picking out his Sunday clothes and make sure they are ironed and looking good. But heaven forbid he need me to iron a shirt any other day of the week. I start feeling all grumbly inside and some of that pours over and he realizes quickly that I really don't want to serve him. I'm really serving me and how good it makes me feel on Sunday to see him get compliments on his tie or what not. Ugliness.
My terms of service, not a true servant's heart.
So starting today, I'm making adjustments. Is it really service or is it self-service? Am I feeding the poor or my own ego?