Over the Hill

Tomorrow I'm turning 40. The big 4-0. Middle-aged. Old.

On Friday night, I sat in an old theater next to my oldest son, now grown into a man, watching The Nutcracker performed live by students from his and Rebecca's school. It really was too much. I love Christmas, I love ballet, I love my son. Not in that particular order. I can't help but remember seeing the Nutcracker with him when he was just about 8 years old. Or even further back, being the age he is now and that very last Christmas that it was just the two of us. Twenty years ago. So much has changed and I couldn't ask for a better life.

I thought I was so grown up at 20. Now 20 years later I look back and think, "What an idiot!" I had no clue what I would encounter, overcome, endure, enjoy. Now I sit here on the brink of 40 and with more foresight, I'm thinking that this can't be the middle. This can't be the biggest milestone of my life. This can't be "old." I feel as if I'm just getting started. I've finally come to terms with who I am and what I'm really supposed to be doing around here.

I've learned not to fear, but to hope.

Disappointment is not something to worry about, keep asking, keep trying, keep going.

Enjoy where I'm at, who I'm with, what I'm doing right now.

Don't be jealous of the young, they don't know what I know. Instead let them be a hope, an inspiration.

Life is good, even at 40...