Kicking and Screaming
I started reading a new book last night that I honestly didn't even know existed until I picked it up at the library. Its a tiny little book by C. S. Lewis called, A Grief Observed. It is actually a journal that he kept after his wife died to record those feelings that he was trudging through. So far, I'm loving it. He is such a great writer and champion for God, yet he makes human emotion a tangible thing. The Psalms in the Bible and even Job tend to make me realize that this relationship I have with my Father isn't a blase and unfeeling negotiation of wills. He completely realizes that I am His workmanship and He knows what makes me tick. Even when I rail at Him and spit and scream and kick, He can handle it. He loves me and I love Him and that's all there is to it. When I'm disappointed and disillusioned and just plain mean, He grabs a hold of me, sometimes by the collar, sometimes by the seat of my pants and sometimes He just scoops me up in His arms. At the end of the day, even in my worst experiences and most challenging trials, I can truly rely on Him.