Why Won't You Let Me Forgive You?!?

There was an excellent example of real life forgiveness played out within our house last week. On Tuesday morning, Emari was complaining about her sisters talking mean to her. Well, it escalated over the course of the day and by the afternoon, she was full blown ready to forgive someone. I was thinking "wonderful" and left her to do some forgiving of her sister while I grabbed Zion from after school care. As I returned to the car and found big sister repeating, "What's wrong with you?" and Emari, tears streaming down her face screaming, "Say you're sorry!"I knew something had gone awry. As usual, I took the matter to the pastor AKA Dad. He sat down with the two of them and the reality came out.

Emari was under the impression that she couldn't forgive sister for her offenses if said sister did not first ask for her forgiveness. So she demanded the apology. In her mind sister not being sorry or being oblivious to the fact that she had even done anything wrong was standing in her own way of bestowing forgiveness and therefore going on with life. Emari really wanted to forgive her sister and in the end we were able to explain that if doesn't work that way. Forgiveness is given whether its asked for or not. She forgave her sister and sobbed all of her pent up tears on her sister's shirt and we went on home.

That image stuck with me though. I mean, I feel the same way. How can I forgive Lord, if the offender hasn't even acknowledged that he or she is doing anything wrong? Can't they be broken and say sorry first? Sometimes it works that way, but more often than not, it doesn't.
Colossians 3:12-14 So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.


Anonymous said…
Thank you for sharing this. I too have struggled with this.

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