Being a mother of six, you would think that I had this letting go thing down to a science, but I must admit that I cry every step of the way. My kids don't know that, unless I tell them later, because I absolutely hate crying in front of them. I don't want to handicap their moment. You see I cry at all the major events in their lives and even at the small ones like starting and finishing another year of school. This can be awkward considering the fact that four of them attend the school where I work so my crying has to be a little incognito. But it happens, and there's absolutely nothing I can do to stop it.
We start school tomorrow and I'm fearing for the worst because we've got a lot of growing up that has occurred this summer. Here's the breakdown: Tony returns to UNCSA for his second year of film, Rebecca begins her first year of college here in Fayetteville, Serena begins high school, Taylor is starting 7th grade, Emari is going into 1st, and my baby, Zion, is entering Pre-K. Some pretty big milestones we're hitting there across the board. But this is the part that's really difficult: my BABY is leaving the nest to start on his formal education.
I remember, beginning with the pregnancy, I savored every little thing because I knew that it would be my last whatever. My last maternity clothes, my last baby shower, etc. Then through his babyhood, it was the last bottle, the last diaper, the last day in the nursery. There is something different about the knowledge that you are doing something for the very last time ever. There isn't much in life where you can have that certainty of finality and its sad even in the joy that you find in the memory.
Tomorrow I will be dropping off my last baby to school and that will be that. He's gonna be learning new things and making new friends and thinking that his teacher is smarter than me just like the others did. Except this time its different, because he's the last one. Today is my last day to enjoy my last one just like this and I'm gonna enjoy it.