When I was growing up I remember hearing the grown ups talk about overachievers and underachievers. I knew that because at that season of my life the way that greatness was reached was through academic success, I was therefore in the overachiever category. I mostly got straight A's, except maybe in Math occasionally when I would bring home a high B. The secret was: I didn't have to work all that hard for those grades. They seemed to just come naturally to me. To myself I always really wondered if I was actually in the underachiever category and if I gave just a little effort, maybe just maybe I would be a rocket scientist. However, I was comfortable with my level of exertion. And what about those people that fit into the middle category. Were they happy not working hard but not slacking off either? What was up with them?
In grown up life success is measured with everything but good grades in school. Who cares if you were on the honor roll right? Nice cars, big house, expensive clothes, perfect kids, these are the things we look at when gauging an individual's level of effort vs. success. Realizing that outward illusions of making it don't really reflect the truth, I still battle with the categories overachiever and underachiever, though. To some I look like I have it together and everything is well handled, to others I look as if I'm barely hanging on. To myself, I'm constantly reassessing the situation. Am I working hard enough, or do I need to get on the ball?
God has called us to live excellent lives. He calls us to reflect Him to the world. He commands us to be examples of how He would carry things out on earth. I strive to live a life worthy of Jesus' sacrifice. In that respect, I can try to do it. However, God is all knowing, all powerful, everywhere at the same time. Those parts of Him are beyond my grasp. I remain cynical and distrusting of others when I can't understand their motives. I get tired when I've spent a week at work and then ministering over the weekend. I can only be in one place at a time.
In my struggle to live a wholly holy life before my Father, I spread myself thin. I pour myself out. I fail to remember that He is my source and my strength. He is not asking me to give from what is in me, but to tap in to His Life. There will always be more to do. Even at the end of one task, another is available to complete. I have to remember to go back to the source and refuel, refresh, and refill in order to keep up the race.