I Live in a Zoo

Or for your literary scrutiny, the alternate title: Why My House Will Never Look Like the Ones in Magazines

Our Spring Break officially started yesterday and like all vacation-time beginnings, I start out with a trip to the grocery store and a quick clean up of the house. My thoughts are on a long awaited project's completion and some measure of rest and relaxation. Ahhh! Slow breath of relief. Tranquility, quiet, peace.

I don't know why I do it to myself, because it never happens that way. A quick trip to the grocery store turns into a 3 hour tour.  I return to find my littles still wearing their jammies and my idyllic scene turned on its ear. It truly shocks me to note the level of squalor at which my teenage daughters can find themselves comfortable in. They will be serenely watching a movie or texting on their phones with their feet propped up on a table laden with snack plates and wrappers and empty glasses. Don't even get me started on the laundry at our house.

I work full time all week and help my husband with church stuff most afternoons and nights, so on the weekends (basically Saturday, since we have church again on Sunday) I "catch up" on chores. Maintenance goes on each day, but I'm talking about really cleaning. Sometimes I can't take it anymore and I clean the whole house by myself really, really well and then go around threatening everybody if they look like they are gonna mess anything up. But it amazes me just how quickly my pristine home can turn into a pigsty with the introduction of the locals to the habitat. I've never actually timed it because I'm afraid it might send me to the hospital, but believe me its fast.

Now, don't get me wrong, we don't REALLY have anybody here who is a complete slob and never picks up after himself of herself. Wait, I'm lying. We have actually done some observations and noted that the absence of certain family members actually resulted in a cleaner living environment, but they know who they are and I don't want to stir up anything.

So in the meantime I chose pinterest and home decor blogs to help give me a sense of peace. The immaculate living room, the sparkling clean bathroom, the clutter free kitchen. These things will never be for me, but I can at least dream. Our house may not say, "Peace To All Who Enter." Its more like, "Give Me a Break, People Actually Live Here!" My house may look less like a museum and more like an episode of Sanford and Sons. The bottom line is: Be It Ever So Humble, There's No Place Like Home.


Beverly Jordan said…
This is good!This is reality! All this is close to home for most moms&wives..but you,Amber are much different..you are a strong woman who has many "titles"that sometimes holding it all together is not so easy,but you make it appear to be..i know for my home i do what you mention by "threatening anybody to mess anything up since i do most the cleaning myself"but often i sit&wonder if i'd rather have "a happy zoo" or a "uptight miserable home of tranquility"&so i should just learn to accept that happy home may be a zoo but it's my zoo!!

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