I felt like I should follow up my last blog with something a little more cheerful. Rereading my own post made me cry. Sheesh! Anyway, this was the first weekend that Tony has not come home so I was emotionally and physically able to pack up the rest of his leftover stuff and get rid of all the trash he left in his room (thanks Bub) and actually make Emari and Zion comfortable in their own room. Tony still has a bed to sleep in when he graces us with his college coolness but with five siblings still at home I couldn't make everybody remain cramped. Tony's room is perfect because it has built in shelves for their toys and a small closet for their small clothes. Emari has had a bit of a hard time with Tony leaving and starting kindergarten and moving into a new room. Being part of the youngest set of Goodman children she has grown used to a bigger person to protect her from the boogie man. Zion just doesn't help fight him off as well as Serena and Taylor. For the past four weeks Joshua and I are reliving her infancy in our bed with her squished in between us. The difference is she's a lot bigger than she was back then and it makes for a sleepless night for mommy and daddy. The floor just doesn't work for her. She knows where her place is.
I really don't know how I would have made it through this time if it hadn't been for my two little people. Just the fact that they need me in such all consuming ways keeps me from giving into the abyss of loneliness. Rebecca, Serena, and Taylor go on with their lives and don't need me on a minute by minute basis. I don't have to worry about the three of them wandering around in the backyard in their underwear looking for me if I decide to take a shower real quick. Well, at least I hope not. There have been times in life that I felt a little person made living so much more complicated and then I looked back at the ordeal and realized that that little "inconvenience" was exactly what I needed to keep things in perspective. Thank God for holding out that little boy for 16 years. Sometimes his little voice asking, "Momma, I hold you?" is precisely what I need to hear.