Big Daddy: Now tell me, what are you disgusted with?
Brick: Mendacity. You know what that is. It's lies and liars.
Big Daddy: Who's been lyin' to ya? Maggie? Has your wife been lyin' to ya?
Brick: No. Not one lie, not one person. The whole thing.

One of my all time favorite movies, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof: Paul Newman, Elizabeth Taylor, cinematic gem that one. I watched it last week while Josh was in China, and I love it more and more. This time, something different came out of the screen at me, though. It was the dialogue above about mendacity. Now, I've watched this movie a dozen times, but it really struck a chord in me.

Mendacity: lack of honesty

Some of the synonyms are fabrication, fairy tale, lie

In the past couple of months some stuff has come to light for me personally that I can no longer push behind a curtain, or cover with a blanket, or stuff into a closet. Its smack dab in yo face hanging out in my living room frankness. I'm not sure if I never knew it was there before or if I'm just that good at sneaking around behind my own back. But no hiding it, its there screaming in my face to step up and take it down. Its not sin, its not really anything in particular, its like Brick said, the whole thing. I get this feeling like God is saying, "I'm tired of the mendacity, Amber. Take care of this stuff and come further and higher with Me." How I lie to myself, how I live in this world of tomorrows and some days. He's made me for now, for forever. There's no time constraint on His work in Me, but I've got to stop living in another dimension of fantasy. In some ways things aren't as bad as I think they are and in other ways they're worse. One thing remains, the lie has got to end. I've got to square up with this thing and approach it head on, take it down. The first step is the acknowledgement, but there is no truth until there is a turning away and moving onwards.


Jolene Grace said…
I found your blog through the M2M blogroll and love it. Your insight and frankness are refreshing, and oh-so-familiar to this Pastor's Wife. I'm a new follower. Blessings!

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