1.12.2011

Imposed Rest and Anesthesia

Don't think I'm weird for saying this, but sometimes I feel like God sets me up. Sometimes I can tell when its happening, other times I can only see it when I look back at the situation. Let me explain. I am the type of person who likes to stay busy. My busy may look different than your busy, but its my attempt to keep moving, put off stagnation. Busy may be reading a book in the tub, cleaning out a closet, playing with my kids, or any number of activities large and small. I hate having nothing to do. So, even when I'm on vacation, I'm cleaning up after people and organizing drawers and such. God's not into that.

He set a standard of weekly rest by HIs own example. He in His omnipotence and omniscience and omnipresence deigned it imperative to take a little breather at the end of creation week. Not because He had to, but because He knew we would need it. Think about it. If you buzz around all week, not taking a moment to take it all in, what is the point of what you're doing? That's not life. God stopped after each thing He created and recognized the worth of what He was doing. I don't often do that. I sometimes don't even know why I'm doing a task.

The first time I noticed this imposed rest in my own life was two years ago when I was pregnant with Zion and the doctor put me on bedrest. Hated it! If it would have just been for my own good, no one could have convinced me to lay around on the couch for three long months, but no, they had to go and put the guilt trip on me and bring my unborn baby into the equation. So I laid around watching tv and reading and bossing people around from my corner of the living room. But during the quiet parts of the day, when the kids were at school and Josh was busy at work and Emari was taking a nap, my world would close in and I'd have to really look at things. Rest forces you to slow down and examine.

I started to realize that I keep busy for less than admirable reasons. All that activity has a numbing effect. I stop thinking about why I'm doing this and where I'm going and instead keeping moving forward aimlessly. It all becomes robotic and automatic. Where are you headed? Oh I don't know this is the direction I was facing before so I'll just keep walking this way. Huh? This is the way my parents were walking so I'll just follow their lead? What? Do I even remember what I'm doing all this for? Vaguely...

Stop right there. Good.
Breathe for a minute.
Look around at the scenery. Do you know where you are right now? Do you like the look of the place that you're at?
Can you remember why you headed out on this journey?
Sit down for a while and clear your head.
Here eat this, you're gonna need some energy for the steps ahead.
Now isn't it nice to take a moment and talk to Me about where you're going?
You're doing a good job, by the way. I love you.
Ok back on your feet. Get moving.

Psalms 23

1-3 God, my shepherd! I don't need a thing.
You have bedded me down in lush meadows,
you find me quiet pools to drink from.
True to your word,
you let me catch my breath
and send me in the right direction.

4 Even when the way goes through
Death Valley,
I'm not afraid
when you walk at my side.
Your trusty shepherd's crook
makes me feel secure.

5 You serve me a six-course dinner
right in front of my enemies.
You revive my drooping head;
my cup brims with blessing.

6 Your beauty and love chase after me
every day of my life.
I'm back home in the house of God
for the rest of my life. (Psalm 23, The Message)

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