12.03.2009

The Baby's Out, Now What?

Ok sorry about that stupid title, but I didn't want to be falsely advertising this blog with my alternate title, "Postpartum Depression in Reference to Church Planting." I feel strongly that my ministry life and my personal life are paralleled in experience so I try to draw references from one to help me deal with something I may be going through in another.

So 9 weeks ago I delivered an amazing baby boy, beautiful to the last detail. I still catch myself looking at him in awe. Such a miracle and an expression of love is embodied in his tiny frame. Yet, he keeps me up at night and is almost solely responsible for my never looking quite how I want to at any given time. I feel ugly and fat and cry about dumb things alot.

Simultaneously, we planted a church. The physical congregating of a group of people we have been working with and ministering to for a long time now. Together we have come and given birth to something we have felt growing inside of our spirits for quite some time. Oh its beautiful and its something else...a lot of work. The excitement and amazement is still there every Sunday, but lingering on the fringes is the exhaustion and the slight let down that all ministers feel. I would definitely label it postpartum depression of the ministry kind. The cool thing is knowing that its okay to feel this way, its normal and it will pass. The baby will grow stronger and start needing mama less for its every need. In the meantime, I want to soak up every minute of the beauty of this once in a lifetime moment in The Pursuit's infancy.

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