I couldn't make myself write this weekend. Part of it was busyness, the other was that I really wanted to wait for it all to sink in. You see, yesterday was the first service of our brand new church, The Pursuit. There was a crew of amazing people who worked tirelessly to pull it all off and make it look easy to those of us who were watching in the wings. Many of us couldn't sleep the night before. The excitement was just too great. Someone compared it to the excitement you feel of Christmas Eve. I had no trouble sleeping and that kind of bothered me. Was I detaching myself from the feelings associated with the plant? All my worries were dissipated the next morning when I woke up. My two oldest had gone to help dad and the team set everything up and I was at home with the four littlest. I was a weeping mass of emotions.
You know I have been searching for my purpose for ions it seems. Motherhood, a good job, being a good wife, they just haven't seemed to be the reason God made me. All noble pursuits but just not my purpose on earth. I finally found it and it astounded me yesterday morning as I was getting ready. This is the time! God made me for such a time as this! All my life has been culminating to this point. The best part is that I am really nothing. He saw fit to use a vessel that has messed up innumerable times and in very noticeable ways to be a help meet to a man who has just as many flaws and failures. He endured with us and groomed us despite our humanity. He induced a dissatisfaction with the ordinary that was what really put this church into motion. In addition to that He handpicked a group of amazing people to come alongside us and bear the burden as well. Even our own babies are a part of what's going on.
Sixteen years ago about this time of year, I walked in the doors of Cliffdale Christian Center with a six month old baby and a cloud of shame hovering around me. Today I am the pastor's wife of a newly birthed church plant and that baby is an amazing musician on our worship team with a tender heart for the Lord. I love my life and this adventure that God has called us to!