On Growing into Motherhood
Today is Mother's Day and upon awakening my mind instantly races to the people who gave me this extraordinary task and title. Prior to having children, I though life was all figured out, I'd get married after college and starting my career as a psychologist, in time have two children, one boy and one girl. Happily each morning I'd run off to work wearing a dress suit with my hair up elegantly, the picture of success and accomplishment. Then I had my first son and boy did life change. Suddenly, my focus was not on me and my illustrious future, but his. He really grounded me and made me realize how very, very selfish I was. My daughter came two years later and once again I was slammed, this time it was relationship. Boys are easy, they get hurt and move on. Girls harbor the pain, they have to be pampered and treated delicately. I was front row patron at the unfolding drama of watching a father with his daughter, something I never experienced for myself. Even now, I sometimes find myself jealous of this relationship my daughters have with their daddy. Daughter two has taught me survival at all costs. She is my strong one, won't take no for an answer, the will of iron. Daughter three, brought with her beauty and healing of pain. The worst parts of my life so far I went through while either pregnant with her and while she was tiny. Daughter four, was restoration and joy. Wow, what a girl! The smile of an angel. Baby boy has yet to arrive but already I have learned faith in the face of adversity. Being a mother is easy that comes just by giving birth. Its becoming a mother that gets interesting, I don't think it ever ends.