8.26.2009

High Society

All my life I've dreamed of getting up in the morning and putting on a dress suit, driving off to my dream job in my dream car as I wave goodbye to my 2.5 children and husband. Though I married into a ministry family, to the man of my dreams might I add, I always thought that the dream could still be possible. I've bucked against the system, trying to cram it into my perfect little package of what I thought was normalcy. I've worked out there and I've stayed at home, and every time I come to the same stand off. When I drive away from my little babies as they are screaming for me to stay with them, somehow the glamour of the job and the "extra" money it brings doesn't seem so endearing. My life away from my family revolves around getting through the day and back to them. But when I stay at home thoughts of my wasted intelligence and unfulfilled dreams fill my head as I vacuum, change diapers and wait impatiently for my husband to come home and remind me that its all worth it.
See, I've been raised in an environment that will not allow me to feel content keeping a house, raising children to serve God, opening my home to strangers, and inspiring a man to keep on pursuing the fight. Why must I seek my fulfillment outside the doors of the home God has allowed us to create? And why do we as a society demean women who choose to remain home? Its almost as if we sabotage them with surroundings that scream for a dual income household. Even the church can be a culprit. If you are not "prosperous", you must be doing something wrong. We have a warped view of prosperity which dictates that it must show in the year and make of our vehicle, our neighborhood, our clothing. Yet, my God shall supply all my needs according to His riches and glory. My husband and I have learned that there are times to pull the tent pegs in and times to expand them. God always provides for the season. Our goal is to pursue Him in everything we do, acknowledging His grace in the season we find ourselves in. If we make that seem easy, don't be fooled, its not. We're just finding our lives held to a higher accountability than what the world tries to cram down our throats, and reaching for the society of heaven.
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